The U.S. is doomed.
The ORIGINAL Everybody Sucks.
How removable are your removable bumper stickers?
Put one on and find out! Ok, well the adhesive is removable up to 6 months unless you park your car in direct sunlight and let it bake into the paint every day. And even then, it might take some effort but it'll come off and leave much less adhesive than a normal decal. Let's put it this way; they'll come off.

How should I apply my bumper sticker?

Step 1: Clean the surface you're putting it on. In all seriousness, use your judgement here, I won't be held responsible for you ruining the sweet red paint job on your Ferrari.
Step 2: Peel liner off sticker.
Step 3: Apply starting at one end, working to the other.
Step 4: Stand back, place hands on hips, and admire.

Do you ever take 5 bumper stickers off your stockpile for an order of 4 and wonder if the last one is sad it didn't get to go with it's brothers and sisters?
No, because bumper stickers are inanimate objects, you freak!
Ok...maybe once and a while I do.

Where can I put my magnet?
Wherever the hell you want! Truthfully, we know magnets are sweet science-based materials and don't stick to everything. I mean, they're not magic...mag-netic? Hmm, or are they magic? Moving on. See if it sticks to your desired surface first and if so, remove and clean both surfaces. If you're putting one on your car, take it off once a week or two and clean both surfaces again cause we've already been through the fact they're not magic. (Or are they?!) Stuff gets behind them and you don't want it bonding with your vehicle forever. Or do you?

How do I assemble my yard sign?
*sigh* pretty simple, actually! The coroplast sign has vertical flutes. Line up the accompanying yard stake with the (bottom, please!) flutes and give 'er hell. When it's jammed in there, plunge that bitch into your soil, stand back, firmly plant your hands on your hips, and admire.

*I've actually had to add this question because I've actually been asked this, believe it or not.*
That sweet, sweet sign I ordered was stolen from my yard. Will you please replace it?

Absolutely! ...Right when I see your next order come through, complete with payment.
I don't do this for shits 'n giggles if you haven't yet noticed. If you expect I'll cover the theft of your sign at my cost, you're probably "feelin' the Bern" and live in an area where many other people have a berning sensation in their pantaloons which causes them to act erratically.
Short answer: Hell no, sorry.

When will my order ship?!
I'm glad you're enthusiastic about displaying your lack of enthusiasm but, believe it or not, I'm just one guy enlisting the help of my wife and brother. What I'm NOT is an Amazon; shipping same day with free 2 day shipping, K? Thx.
I maintain a full-time (if you call 11~ hours a day "full-time") job and I'm trying my hardest to stay on top of your admirable onslaught of orders and ship each out in a timely manner. I thank you for your patience in advance!

I got an email notification about my order being fulfilled (with or without) a tracking number, where's my shit?
If you got an email about your order being fulfilled without a tracking number, it's because it has shipped USPS without a tracking number. Most take 2-3 days or so once I've dropped them off which might be the day after you received the email.
If you got an email about your order being fulfilled with a tracking number, you ordered a sign (thank you!) and that means I've printed a label and probably boxed it up. If you check the tracking number and nothing comes up, it's because USPS has not scanned it yet; your patience is appreciated.

I sent you an email and you haven't responded. Are you too good for me now that you've made it big time?
Have you ever seen that picture that says, "there are two types of people in the world" and it's got a screen shot of an iPhone with ZERO notifications on apps and the other has a bajillion emails? I'm the normally the first one but after launching this site my inbox looks like the second. My anxiety is through the roof.
That being said, please be patient with me; I try my hardest to answer them as they come in IF I even get them (as some people have claimed to have emailed me and I've received nothing).

I've seen a few other "Everybody Sucks" things on the internet; are you legit?
Too fuckin' legit to quit, baby!
I came up with the original sign strictly for my yard just to be funny. It's the one you may have seen that went viral; the yellow house in the background? Those are my neighbors and they're cooler than yours. So if you see another site selling "Everybody Sucks" swag, it's likely they're in violation of copyright laws and, if they're not, they've just ripped me off which I try my damnedest to ignore but deep down it makes me want to punch them square in the throat for being thieving dickbags.

Your Political Swag for the Unpolitical is so sweet! Will you sign it for me?

SHIT YES, I'll sign it for you! Just put in the order notes! I might even throw in a sweet Post-It note with a ridiculous sketch! (Probably of a penis, FYI.)

Ok, I don't want a penis Post-It but will you personalize my order?
Since (as of 4-17) I (with help) have dug myself from the deepest pit of despair of unending orders, yes; I will often try and personalize each order but, be careful for what you wish for. More often than not, I'll probably make fun of your name, address, or write something stupid.
But only because I love you.

How can you live with yourself, profiting off of the misfortune of this great nation?
My initial inclination is to say, "I sleep very well at night, thank you very much" but unfortunately my 55 lb. polar bear-like golden doodle is a restless cuddlebug and she sees to it that I don't. So let's suffice it to say I'm a-ok with this exchange of goods for currency. Truthfully, many of the products are sold pretty close to cost and I make little more than pocket change on shipping; I just like to spread the joy of laughter. And sarcasm.